I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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