Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
