Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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