Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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