Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
