We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
