so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
