if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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