I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have aggressive nipples.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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