It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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