my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
