Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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