apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
