it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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