I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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