so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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