Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
