I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
