he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i think i just lost a toe
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
