So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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