I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
why didn't you poke me back
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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