I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
