i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
