Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
