Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
