Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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