dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
