his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
