last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
