There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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