I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
