Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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