Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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