..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
