There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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