Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
