I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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