we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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