you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
