So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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