The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
