I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
