this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
