Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
