It's Friday. Sex?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
