Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
