i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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