She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
