this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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