If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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