Porn is love you can see.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize