After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
