Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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