My pussy is not your playground.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As shirtless as possible
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
