well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
