This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize