i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize