The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
