whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
