1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
