Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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