you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
