I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
