They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
