We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize