we made out on top of his cat.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize