can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
